Wednesday I finally go visit Gramma's grave for the first time since I helped set her on top of the lift. Every night before bed (My bedtime initially, since it was before hers, then her bedtime after she got sick and Grampa made her start going to bed at 10.) I would go upstairs and give her a hug and kiss and tell her goodnight. Standing there by her grave I wanted nothing more than one more hug... and one more... and one more... And then I read theferrett's post from today and realized that having those extra hugs would most likely not be what I really want.
Yesterday was a mixed bag as well. Rufus showed up for just one last practice. We told him he's always welcome to jam at practice, and if he knows the songs, at gigs too. Then afterwards, the lead singer talked me into running out to this dance club for a while. A friend of the drummer's was there, and minor drama ensued. I flirted, she reiterated that she doesn't date friends of friends. Shut down, end of drama. Spent most of the rest of the evening watching her flirt with her pool partner and bend over to take shots.
Then, as I'm wandering around looking for A.D.A.M., this girl comes walking towards the back half of the bar (front half's a sports bar, back half is a dance club.) and stops me. "What's your name?" "Chad..." "Well, Chad, you're really cute." <Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!> "I...am?" "Yes, you are." "Well, you're the first to tell me." "Really? How old are you?" "25. You?" "40." The last bit HAD to be a lie, as she didn't look a day over 21. But it was a moot point, as she brushed my shoulder and walked on. I stood there for a second, then walked up to the front to check for A.D.A.M. He wasn't there yet, so I went back to the table. On my way I saw said girl with her hands on this one guy's biceps and his hands on her shoulders and hear her say as I walk past, "That's him, right there." Now, this girl on the universal scale as determined by pop culture was at least a high 8... Between that, her familiarity with this guy, I'm convinced I was the butt of some weird joke. (Oh, and I hadn't shaved in two days, so I looked like hell even for me.)
Later, after not having the courage to go dancing alone, no one female willing to go dancing with me, and A.D.A.M. going home earlier, I slink off.... and find girl and her guy standing out in the front foyer, her leaning back against the wall with him leaning over her in a "We're making out" fashion. As I walk past, she stops me and says, "Nice meeting you." I correct my earlier gaffe and ask her name, then say goodnight and walk off to leave them to get back to their discussion or snogging, whichever. Go home and go pretty much straight to bed.
Then this morning I have a conversation with the Elf that goes something like, "Went out flirting last night, ego bruised..." "*Feels rather stupid for thinking about what life would be like in Ohio*" (Paraphrased)
Now, we had talked about her moving out here to be closer to friends. There was talk about possibly being roommates (with or without beneifits). And there was talk that someday, eventually, if things happened right of us trying one more time, without distance as a problem. I was rather explicit, though, in stating that in the meantime neither of us is to wait. I know she wants me to, and neither of us handles the other seeing people very well, but I'm doing my best to work past that.
And what in the hell was A.D.A.M. talking about last night when he said he was going to make me a nametag that said "Oblivious"? He knows I actually am, yet won't clue me in. I'm assuming it was that said girl was showing obvious interest to other guys and not me, but who knows.