"I don't know which is more unfortunate, though... the fact that she could have me back regardless of the situation just by asking, or that she doesn't."
Rather than unfortunate, annoying would be a better phrase. The relationship is over. Done. Kaput. I blew it, she left, and that was that. We're still close friends, and that's something I don't want to lose. (Not that I haven't almost lost it a few times anyways.)
Why, then, do I want her back? Why would I give body parts and freedoms to have her back as she is or as she was. (Situations can and have changed a lot in 4 years, but she still has that grip on me.)
Still no word from Wonderful, not even just to talk. The place out in Kent that her sister goes to to meditate was absolutely gorgeous, though, and starting this Sunday I'll be visiting it every other week. I need the time to sift through my thoughts. Especially with August coming up soon... Do I re-sign my lease or just lapse into month-to-month? Do I stay or do I move to X's? Living with X would allow me to pay down a lot of my debt, but there would be no room for my drums, which is a large part of said debt. (His is taking up a decent amount of the basement already.) That leaves Twitch out to dry, though, with a kid on the way and not enough income to support the apartment by himself. I'm actually worried about my mental health if I stay there, though. (Not that I'm not passing on whole tonloads of second-hand drama to anyone who reads this.)
I'm going to bribe the plant manager with lunch to cover for me, so I can get some food in me today.