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Chad Portrait
hiromasaki

Fun, fun, fun.

Well, this is interesting. The elf has literally just informed me that I've been replaced by a near clone. Granted, this is her third boyfriend since we broke up, but it still hurts. Even now I've entertained the thoughts that we might get back together... I knew it was very unlikely, but the thought still crossed my mind at times. This leaves me in a sticky situation. She'll get inwardly jealous if she finds out about the new girl (or at least she has for every previous one), and I'm jealous because she's got a new guy. And double that since he looks like me "but with shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair. You can't compete with that, hon." If my hair would go shoulder-length instead of making me 6' tall as opposed to my normal 5'6".....

Right now I could really use wonderful near... curled up on the couch and just talking and hugging like the night we met. It's not like we've even come close to connecting on a personal level like elf and I had, but it's nice having someone interested and near by.

And of course this is all after I start growing this rediculous goatee based only on my roommate and elf's suggestions. (Granted, the scraggly uneven thing has gotten a few complements after only a week, but I've seen equal numbers of people bite their lips to keep from laughing.)

How do I tell wonderful that I want to be with her when I can't let go of elf? And why do I still have the urge to tell elf my feelings when I've already done so to the point of physical pain from repetitve listening on her part? And why the hell isn't a large teddy bear standard equipment for a young adult male's household?

Chad Portrait
hiromasaki

EAT DRUMS! EAT DRUMS!

...or at least that's all they seem to be good for. For the umpteenth time, it feels like I'm never going to get the hang of these stupid things. bass, snare, bass, snare, bassbasssnarebass, basssnare, repeat. That's all I want to do... not too hard... I've done it before, and I'm definitely not out of practice since that's all I do, but my right leg won't listen and my left arm won't stay in time.

I keep getting the urge to go out and get a woodblock, cowbell, splash cymbal, etc... but until I get what I've got figured out, what would the point be? Who knows... if I keep getting worse like this, I may even end up selling the set... but that would leave me where? I've noticed this disturbing trend of starting things as a prodigy, and quickly degrading backwards from there. Even my bread and butter of computer repair. Either they got a lot harder to fix from Windows 95 to today or I've even gone backwards there.

I'm going to go do something else I stink at and write to Wonderful. I figure a 50/50 shot that I'll either impress her and start down the road of another 'excuse' relationship, or shoo her away with poorly expressed feelings and opinions.

Chad Portrait
hiromasaki

Well...

Here goes nothing. I wrote the letter to Wonderful and I'm going to drop it off now.

Chad Portrait
hiromasaki

...That was uneventful.

She wasn't home. Oh, well. Hopefully she'll find it and call. :)