Hiro (hiromasaki) wrote,

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Home again, home again.

Well, the trip was... interesting. I had fun. It was wonderful seeing the elf again. I made a few mistakes, but hey, I'm human (I think. We won't go there now.). We enjoyed a day at the marketplace, and at the arcade, and at home. She smiled and laughed and doted on me a bit. (mmm... fingers in my hair. very comforting.) We had it out over a problem or two that we had or used to have, and as far as I know never went to bed upset with each other.

I'm going to type this next part only to explain my vexment. The elf has had some pretty severe emotional trauma in her life. She's not quite "all there" emotionally anymore. "Empty" is the way she describes it, along with "unable to love". This I can, unfortunately, verify, and it was her hope as well as mine that I could help correct that over time.

Keep this in mind as she has told me since I got back that I should forget about her and find someone whose heart is not "irreprably damaged". I have never cared about anyone the way I do her. I have never been willing to give my life and my love to help and be with someone who may not return it for a long time. She's a wonderful person inside. I only post this because I'm lost. I will not abandon her, but what do I do?

Call it machismo, call it whatever, but I hate to do this, but I need advice...
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