Hiro (hiromasaki) wrote,

Hiromasaki: An Owner's Manual

Owner's Manual
1980 Model

Congratulations on your acquisition of a 1980 HiroMasaki. While the HiroMasaki is self-cleaning, self-maintaining, and in general pays for itself, there are some use and operational concerns that you should be aware of.

The HiroMasaki takes a power input of approximately 2000 kCal/day. This can be delivered in various forms, but the preferred forms are those of chicken, steak, vegetables, and pizza. Ramen noodles can be used as a budget-conscious source, but do not overuse. If the HiroMasaki is left to its own devices, power will be obtained, but scheduled recharge times may drift. Do not worry, as safeguards to prevent complete battery drain have been put in place. To reset the recharge cycle, merely provide the HiroMasaki with appropriate charge on-schedule.

Please do not leave the HiroMasaki unattended with a line of credit and numbered/ordered items that interest him. You will soon find yourself with all the available items, a checklist of the items that are missing, and a line of credit that has run out of room. These items include (but are not limited to) Comic Books, Trading Cards, Compact Discs, Movie and Book series, etc.

The HiroMasaki does on occasion suffer from depression and/or social anxiety. If this should occur, remove the offending stimulus and wait a few hours. Music, change of location, and/or light physical exertion may speed this process.

Coaxing the HiroMasaki to perform certain activities may require overcoming random and varied phobias. An "ease into the pool" method is suggested to prevent the aforementioned anxiety.
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