Hiro (hiromasaki) wrote,
Hiro
hiromasaki

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Stuff, stuff, and more stuff.

Hmm... Where to start.

I'm tired, in an existential sense. Part of it is because a friend whom I trusted to make payments to me on time for my truck and refurbish said truck in the manner he promised to is now a month and a half behind, and is ordering every part he can find that I vehemently dislike. (Generic-style chrome grille, digital headliner, body lift-kit, new fuel-injected engine but leaving the scrapyard special differential.) I got extremely attached to that truck over the last five years... Through relationships, friendships, multiple places of living, she always turned over in the morning and got me to work. She was fun to drive, and felt like she was alive and protecting me, especially with some of the close calls I had. I was within feet of being little more than a smear twice. And now he's tearing her apart and re-moulding her to his image... And what I imagine and think of is the same that is on the front of the owner's manual....

Another part of it is I'm tired of feeling used. When I want to help, I'm told to buzz off, politely or otherwise (elf, pteryx, x, the impolites have been left off to protect the not-so-innocent.) and when I would rather not, I feel obligated to due to friendship or just being good (x's mom, borrindahl (sp?), the Malk, etc.) The helping I really enjoyed and felt good for was hauling food for the food bank. Kinda hard to do in an Alero. :(

I dunno. Hopefully in two weeks things will settle down and get back to some semblance of livable. At the very least I'll be able to get an afternoon nap.
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