Hiro (hiromasaki) wrote,
Hiro
hiromasaki

Rust is Metal Cancer.

A pair of my friends like to watch Metal Mania on VH1 Classic and rate how "Metal" the videos are. This involves each video starting at a perfect 10, and points (full only) being deducted for things such as overly pretty lead singer, pianist being featured on-camera, etc. Spinal Tap videos all rate a superlative 11 by default, and having a member from Brimfield, OH gets an automatic 1-point deduction. (The penalty for throwing our band out of town, or something.)

So this morning I was thinking about how my own Metal Points™ system would work, and realized that there was an entire subcategory of Metal in my mind that I had no name for... Until it hit me. Or rather, I almost hit an old 60's van that wasn't very well taken care of. Rust™.

Now, what qualifies as Rust™? Any song or musical element in the genre of Metal that I feel degrades MY overall enjoyment of the genre. This includes, but is not limited to, screaming, guitar parts that make my ears hurt because everyone is playing full chords on identical Marshalls with 0 mid-range, and gargling hot asphalt.

Now, just as the rules for Rufus & Twitch's Metal Points™ change from time to time to suit Rufus' whims, my rules are not hard and fast. There are times that gargling asphalt works. See Marco Hietala in Nightwish, or even Disturbed's David Draiman. They find appropriate points (usually) to break out a tar and gravel mouthwash and are able to still hit notes that are pleasant to the ear while simultaneously sounding like their vocal cords have been paved.

So, until I find a better term, anything Metal that does not strike me as pleasing or a reasonable difference in opinion is Rust™.

EDIT: Wrong -tucky...
Tags: rock and roll creation, tagged and returned to the wild
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